you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
