who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
