I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
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I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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