I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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