"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
