it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
