Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize