i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
