check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
