We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
