I'm lost and stupid without you.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
