What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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