after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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