so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
