yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
