The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Say something about gay babies.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
