I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Swine flu is the new snow day.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize