I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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