i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
