in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
