well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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