If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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