brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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