ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
