i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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