The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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