I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
