I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
