just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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