so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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