I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize