3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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