He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize