Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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