Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
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I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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