how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize