All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just found puke in my bra..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
