I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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