I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
