Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
