I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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