I hate your face
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
