I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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