i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
