we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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