none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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