I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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