is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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