We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
