just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize