capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
