is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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