He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
