well I can't set my house on fire every night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
