he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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