I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
