i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
