You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
