Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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