The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
