yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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