I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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