So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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