is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
