yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
