What did we do last night that was yellow?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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